I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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