I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
