I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
