jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
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