you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Dignity is for republicans.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
