Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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