We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You ruined the universe
Randomize
