I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize