HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
