wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize