I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize