We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Everclear isn't food dammit
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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