i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
COCAINE IS GR8
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
