Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
