apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I am available for nakedness
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize