In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
accomplished twins. life is a go
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
