dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
