Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
