Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
