Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
