I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
