I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
