Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Do you have feelings for this penis?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize