I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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