): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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