You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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