Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize