Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
