I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
