we have pet lesbian snakes
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
