i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
