They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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