he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
