omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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