these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
