i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
