this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
