He is such a slut. More and more my type.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
