it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
