we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
