so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
