Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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