Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
