she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
