It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
