We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
