Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
