NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
