is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
