I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
