I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
