11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
time to smoke my breakfast
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
