I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
We just shotgunned beers for America
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
