I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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