"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
