So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize
