I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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