Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
