Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
